T-Shirt Alert

Asian dudes just love being cool. And what’s cooler than a mildly provocative phrase or, better, a bunch of garbled English words randomly heaped on a t-shirt? Maybe fake Ray-Bans, but those are harder to describe here.

[We photograph as many as possible. Scroll down for the gallery.]

The gems usually fall under one of three categories:

  1. Attitude (i.e. mildly provocative Hot Topic teenager rejects)
  2. Douchey (like Attitude but stupider and more chauvinistic… if you know what the words mean)
  3. Pure Nonsense (Our favorite! Usually based on something vaguely American-sounding, a generic sports thing, or just a string of words that doesn’t belong on clothing)

NOTE: These shirt slogans are displayed here AS IS. All spelling and grammatical errors, gibberish, or unexplained trail-offs into space are the brainchildren of the t-shirt designers; thus, credit is due only to them and the cool Indian dudes who show it off on their proud chests and backs. [However, bracketed comments are ours].

1. Attitude

  • Today Is Not Your Day Tomorrow Doesn’t Look
  • No Job, No Girlfriend, No Problem
  • Life Is Very Interesting When You Make Mistak3s
  • 100% GLRL
  • I M WITH STUPID –> [Reviving a classic!]
  • Take My Advice   I Don’t Use Them Anyway!
  • Too Young 80
  • I Green

2. Douchey

  • I Am Still A Virgin Please Give A Clearance
  • Improve Your Image: Spend More Time With ME
  • Phones Are Better Than Girls… You Can Turn Off
  • Girlfriends Are Like Medicine: They Come With Expiry Dates
  • Girls Are Hot I Am Hottest
  • Nobody Dies A Virgin… At The End We’re All Fucked
  • Life’s A Bitch Be A Dog And Fuck It
  • Let’s Make Out! [Worn by an ugly 15 year old girl in Xi’an who was with her dad at the time]
  • I ❤ BJ [BJ = Beijing]

3. Pure Nonsense

  • Gemini Refined Cooking Oil
  • 555 Deal! [embroidered on a 9-year-old’s jeans)
  • 3 Idiot [back of a dad’s shirt]
  • Believe And Achieve
  • Great Racing Cars And Girls Festival
  • Everthing Is Devided Life Is A Killer
  • On Storage
  • I Like Fat
  • Yes!
  • All Star Basketball Playing Championships
  • Teddy Bear ai ao al ae ai….[etc.] Little Timings Little League Is Playing Than Season
  • Garibbean Do You Know The Meaning Of Tropcal 33 33 33  Find Your Produce
  • Las Vegas King Of Fighters
  • North Atlantic Warriors [with image of a football… evidently there’s American football in Iceland]
  • Powerboat Team Davis Family Reunion Flying Work Hard Unlocked
  • Fido Dido [guy dancing]
  • Lonestar US Cargo Tournament
  • War! Katrina! Theocracy! Danger! No!
  • Identity Towns: and Different Side Community
  • Honda 69 Supporter
  • Loud Sound Introducing Rockability Friday Night [spotted on an x-ray technician on the job]
  • Kailua Bay Hawaii / The stone gold has back if simal the rock has ? / EST HOUKED
  • Diesel: Athletic Loudness!
  • Funny Clap Our Hearts
  • The 7th Galaxy In My Mind – The Cool and the Crazy
  • Raptor! North Evolution
  • Available: Lifestyle Ocean Voyage
  • Bring Bring Bone!
  • World Wide Wild [Context: underneath a giant picture of a deer]
  • Livin’ La Vida: A Midsummer Night’s Dream
  • One Night Cannal Toys: Super Maid Adult Store
  • Saucy Kitten
  • Ramming Tour: Castle Culture
  • Aviator Style/Aviator Good: Supply Demand
  • The Sun Mom: Coming Soon
  • For Est Tour – I Started With the 7
  • New Tork State College & Fitch [Context: With a giant ‘A’ in the background, and the label said “American Eagle”]
  • Yo! What Happened? [Context: In the ‘Yo! MTV Raps logo]
  • Pammastic Woodstain [Context: Inside a British flag]
  • Let’s go, GET SET!
  • DnXX – Do you like the black trucker? TROOP 2251
  • Keep to Suce, Keep the Equestrian
  • Wide XYoR Spider 2008
  • The Irony of Fate: Sex Pot Revenge! Don’t Be the Keep on Kicking
  • Truce: Let’s Go! King of Excess
  • Giggle Zing Explosion

Wardrobe of Woes:

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