It was that time of the year again: Steve needed his thick, flowing, beautiful golden mane reined in. He’d known this for awhile, but for days, recalling the Cop Dad Devon turned into after his own brush with an Indian barber, he hesitated, opting instead to stay in bed past noon before halfassedly building a travel blog.
But finally, enough was enough. He scoped out a handful of local Vashisht barbers, found one he liked and told him he’d see him tomorrow, 70 rupees in hand. When tomorrow came, he marched past that place and into some other one adorned with weird western haircare box labels, color prints of placid woodland creatures and a poster of Hanuman the sexually-wise Monkey-God.
Gesturing exactly how much he wanted shorn off the edges — a tactic learned from years of SuperCuts temporarily transforming Steve into a small Asian woman — he took his seat. Immediately, the barber began hacking away however he wanted to, employing some strange Indian practice of crimping the undergrowth, severing it and hauling it out in clumps.
About five minutes in, Steve was already trying to end it. “Alright… Ok… Yep, looks fine…” Ignoring him, the barber snipped on, erasing all shape to Steve’s head.
Meanwhile, Devon played with the camera and watched a Discovery Channel special on giant wild boars and potential SuperPigs that are running amok apparently only in places inhabited by potbellied Larry The Cable Guy fans and Russia. An Indian customer, despite not understanding the English commentary, sat rapt with the imagery.
A few minutes later the barber concluded his butchering with a firm flurry of head-slaps and demanded his fee: 100 rupees. With that, Steve rolled his eyes, paid and walked back out into the sunlit Vashisht streets a new man, or at least a man who’s recently transexualized himself into a small Asian woman.
But… you don’t have to take our word for it. [Buh-duh-BUH!]